AfL wife = trailing wife

24 Aug

The word AFL stands for Australian Football league for those who may not know.

For the most part footy reminds me of boys in short shorts, beer and a pie, Hawthorn Football team and a time when men pat each other on the butt when they have done good.

Since I was a young girl I have watched footy, with my Dad on grand final day eating Jaffas and sausage rolls and in recent times watching hubby play for Glenunga Football team and today for San Jose Hornets.

It is hard to believe on the other side of the world footy is played. In the Bay Area there are 5 teams alone that compete.

As I watch footy for maybe the hundredth time I met yet another Aussie girl. The girls seat on the sidelines while the boys play they game they love.

As I spoke to the fellow Australian girl, we exchanged hello, the usual how long have you been in the USA and then the question “where do you work”

I reply “Right now I am unable to work as my paperwork is getting processed” then she responded and said so you are a ” trailing wife” then..

At that moment I asked myself what does that mean. Well I now know by definition it is someone who follows his or her life partner to another city because of a work assignment.

So I replied yes I guess so. Then conversation then ended. It got me thinking what a strange name for me. I mean not Sarah, not Mrs Stoney, not wife but instead ” trailing wife”

It implies that I am trailing my husband and that, that specifically defines me.

Am I a trailing wife, I ask myself? Well I think the answer is yes. But I do not think that defines me. I mean yes I followed my husband for the second time to San Francisco but I chose just as much as he did to do so.

So I decided to do something everyone does when they want to know more about a topic. I googled it!

Wow there is a lot on “trailing wife” – pages such as:

Why trailing spouses aren’t happy
Finding happiness as a expat wife
Secret confessions of a trailing spouse
The male trailing spouse
Finding an identity as a trailing spouse

Then I realized that I know the best trailing wife in the world- my mum.

She has lived in 5 states for my Dad’s career and she is the most incredible, inspiring, amazing person I know. If I end up anything like Mum then the world will be a better place.

So with this new found topic and insight I think that yes I am a trailing spouse but I am ready to continue to love the USA, continue my career, support my husband and continue to embrace this second chapter of my expat life.

This is The Expat Loop and I will continue my story.


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